Rules of being an Off Road Explorer:

Persons wishing to accompany us on off-road trips must be aware of the following rules:

Penultimate Rule:  NO WHINING!!!

Subordinate rules:

1.) Be prepared to be completely self-sufficient. Bring enough water and gear and pack out every gram of trash you generate.

2.) Clothing should be suitable for the expected temperature range, and when temperatures permit, preference should be given to T-shirts with humorous graphics or sayings on them, preferably something with a witty, lude or conservative bent. T-Shirts with liberal messages are of course permitted as this is a free country, but due to the numerous deep mine shafts visited and temperament of the majority of the group, they are NOT recommended. Clothing is mandatory except in hot springs or in cases involving tequila and streaking, where it becomes entirely optional.

3.) Tequila is prohibited on trips where Cat is present.

4.) If you don’t want to scratch it, don’t even bother showing up driving it.

5.) Firearms are strictly encouraged.

6.) Children must be able to carry a 30 Lb pack in order to be allowed on any hiking trip longer than 4 hours. If your child cannot carry 30 Lbs, consider bringing several extra children so our pack loads can be distributed safely and equitably among them.

7.) No pets are allowed to drive vehicles, but are otherwise cool. Bring ‘em. Dogs are the original off-road explorers.

8.) Snobby, Yuppie, or other phony people are absolutely not allowed. People thinking of faking being real people for the purposes of being invited on a trip should review the mine shaft warning in rule #2.

9.) Pranks played on Lewis, though encouraged must be of a safe and sane nature and not result in any hospitalization or nightmares lasting longer than 3 weeks.

10.) Showing up is optional. Having a good time is not!

11.) If traveling in a Jeep, spare parts MUST be carried along, including super glue,  duct tape, bailing wire, zip-ties, spare nuts and bolts, muffler hangers, and AAA card. Explorers traveling in Jeeps must submit to any and all “hood up” situations for photographs showing Jeep vehicles in the “SJP” {Standard Jeep Position) for inclusion on this website. You are permitted to show a single middle finger while in the SJP to express your displeasure for this common occurence. (Suggested by Lewis, added to by Bart.)

12.) All participants are strongly encouraged to bring folding chairs for the purpose of: 
       a)waiting outside of mine portals that sane  persons might not be inclined to enter
       b) waiting while duct tape, bailing wire, spare  bolts and chewing gum are applied               to Jeeps
       c) listening to lies and exagerated yarns told around campfires
       d) watching streakers
       e) viewing the trajectory of flying monkeys and  other unusual fauna
       f) observing Jeeps pulling lesser vehicles out of  difficult situations
       (Suggested by Matt)

Disclaimer:  All photos on this site our property of offroadexplorers.com. Unauthorized use will cause us to employ our team of flesh-eating lawyers to sue your ass off.  Off-Road and desert travel carries with it inherent risks. Pack plenty of water, spare gas  and a lot of common sense.  If you break down 75 miles from the nearest point of civilization, don’t come whining to us!   Respect the roads and artifacts you might find off-road. Leave everything where you find it so your children and grandchildren might have something to see in the future. Above all, tread lightly & pack out your own frigging trash.
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